We are doing MDMA wrong.
Almost every time MDMA is mentioned at a party or with friends, the typical response tends to be something like, "Oh yeah, I did that in college," or "I used to do that when I went to raves or music festivals in the past." (My personal favorite is when this rather condescending response is delivered with a drink in hand). This association often shapes perceptions that, in turn, influence reality. Unfortunately, many people are missing out on the true potential of MDMA. It stands as one of the most potent connecting Psychedelics on the planet.
In this piece, I will leverage my recent experience with MDMA to offer a fresh perspective on this substance.
Part #1: Connection
MDMA facilitates an unparalleled connection that extends beyond the night itself (more on that later). It allows you to perceive someone in a unique light. If it's someone you've known for a long time, you see them as you did when you first met. If it's someone relatively new in your life, you catch a glimpse of their true essence. It transports you to a state of primal awareness, where societal norms & conditioned behaviors no longer hold sway. It's akin to a complete break from the societal expectations ingrained in you during your upbringing, liberating you from externally induced modes of thinking.
MDMA's ability to forge connections extends beyond interpersonal relationships; it also deepens your connection with yourself. In the midst of its effects, you may find an unfiltered access to your own thoughts & emotions. It's as if the layers of self-doubt & self-censorship dissipate, revealing a more authentic version of yourself. This newfound self-awareness can be a profound & enlightening experience, offering a rare glimpse into your core desires & beliefs.
It's challenging to truly comprehend someone else until you have a deep understanding of yourself. Herein lies one of the many advantages of MDMA. By unlocking self-suppression & eliminating barriers that hinder your self-awareness, you can begin to see not only yourself but also your partner in a whole new light.
Part #2: Intimacy
MDMA is one of the few substances that simultaneously releases the following chemicals:
Serotonin: MDMA's most prominent effect is on serotonin. It causes a massive release of serotonin in the brain, leading to feelings of increased happiness, emotional closeness, and reduced anxiety.
Dopamine: MDMA also releases dopamine, which contributes to the euphoric & pleasurable effects of the drug. Dopamine is associated with reward & pleasure pathways in the brain.
Norepinephrine: MDMA stimulates the release of norepinephrine, which can increase heart rate, blood pressure, and alertness. This can lead to heightened arousal & energy levels.
We’re just getting started, however. MDMA also catalyzes:
Endorphins: In addition to serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, MDMA also triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers. This flood of endorphins contributes to the overall sense of well-being & euphoria experienced on MDMA. It creates a profound feeling of physical & emotional comfort, often described as a warm and tingling sensation that envelops the body.
Oxytocin: Another crucial chemical influenced by MDMA is oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone" or "bonding hormone." MDMA stimulates the release of oxytocin, which is associated with emotional bonding & attachment. This heightened oxytocin level enhances feelings of closeness & emotional connection with others. It's a key factor in the deep sense of empathy & intimacy that characterizes MDMA experiences, especially when shared with a partner.
Vasopressin: Alongside oxytocin, vasopressin is also released during MDMA use. Vasopressin is involved in social bonding, aggression regulation, and maintaining fluid balance in the body. Its release may further contribute to the heightened sense of connection & empathy experienced on MDMA.
Mind-Body Integration: The combined release of these neurotransmitters & hormones creates a unique mind-body synergy. Physical sensations are heightened and experienced more intensely, creating a profound sense of unity between the mental & physical realms. This integration often leads to uninhibited & authentic self-expression, both in terms of emotions & physical touch.
Enhanced Sensory Perception: MDMA's effects extend beyond emotions and into sensory perception. Colors may appear more vibrant, music becomes intensely immersive, and physical sensations are elevated to a new level of intensity. These enhancements can make even the simplest of activities, such as touching, hugging, and kissing, feel remarkably profound & enjoyable.
In essence, the cocktail of chemicals released by MDMA creates a holistic & extraordinary experience. It enhances emotional connection, heightens sensory perception, and fosters a deep bond with another. This chemical symphony can lead to truly exceptional moments of intimacy.
Part #3: The Comedown
There's no denying that saturating your body with a surge of 'feel-good' chemicals will have consequences when they eventually dissipate. However, in my humble opinion, the comedown, often referred to as the 'Molly blues,' tends to be exaggerated. I suspect this exaggeration may be influenced by the setting in which MDMA is taken. For instance, if taken at a rave where you're dancing all night, not properly hydrating, and removed from the comforts of home, the comedown effects can be more pronounced.
It's worth noting that the comedown can be managed with over-the-counter remedies. Taking melatonin to ensure a good night's sleep & using 5-HTP a few days after can help restore serotonin levels. It's crucial to emphasize the importance of not taking 5-HTP alongside MDMA, as doing so could potentially lead to serotonin syndrome.
Lastly, in my personal experience, I've never encountered an MDMA comedown that rivals the discomfort of a severe hangover – those are undeniably much worse. However, due to the intensity of the MDMA experience, it makes sense to adhere to a moderate frequency of use, such as limiting it to a few times a year. This approach helps ensure that you can fully appreciate & enjoy the positive aspects of MDMA while minimizing any potential drawbacks.
Part #4: The Aftermath
You get flashbacks with MDMA, not memories. The two are very different - memories exist in the head, flashbacks you feel in the body. These flashbacks are distinct from conventional memories, as they transcend the boundaries of mere mental recollection. In the days, weeks, and even months that ensue after your MDMA journey, you may find yourself unexpectedly transported back to that magical night. These flashbacks are like electric jolts of nostalgia, and they reverberate throughout your being, serving as poignant reminders of the incredible sensations you once experienced.
These visceral & powerful echoes of the past are both a blessing and a testament to the profound impact MDMA can have. They allow you to reconnect with the heightened emotions & sensations you felt during your MDMA experience. It's as if the boundaries of time momentarily blur, and you are enveloped by the euphoria & connection that you once shared.
During these flashbacks, you might vividly recall the music that played, the person you were with, and the deep conversations you had. The tactile memories of intimacy & uninhibited conversation serve as a reminder of the sheer joy & human connection that MDMA can foster.
These ephemeral episodes serve as a powerful testament to the lasting impact of MDMA, acting as poignant reminders of the immense capacity for connection & joy that lies within each of us. While they may be fleeting, these flashbacks can inspire personal growth, encourage mindfulness, and remind us of the potential for profound human experiences when done in the right setting, with the right person.
Part #5: The Future of MDMA
While much of the ongoing discourse regarding the therapeutic potential of MDMA focuses on its remarkable effects in treating PTSD (a crucial endeavor for those who have served and are struggling), I foresee that in the next two decades, the narrative will shift towards MDMA's astonishing capacity to foster unity in couples therapy. This shift has the potential to yield profound societal benefits, including the preservation of marriages & the prevention of relationship divergence. As a result, fewer children will grow up in single-parent households, leading to tangible & far-reaching societal improvements that cannot be underestimated.
The therapeutic application of MDMA in couples therapy holds the promise of rekindling the emotional connection between partners in profound & lasting ways. By breaking down emotional barriers & fostering open communication, this powerful substance may serve as a catalyst for renewed intimacy & understanding within relationships. Couples can experience a deep sense of empathy & vulnerability, helping them address long-standing issues and work together to create healthier, more harmonious partnerships.
As the narrative surrounding MDMA's potential in couples therapy gains traction, more individuals may be inspired to seek this transformative experience as a proactive measure to strengthen their relationships, even before issues become insurmountable. This proactive approach has the potential to prevent relationship breakdowns & extramarital affairs.
The societal impacts of MDMA's role in couples therapy are far-reaching & consequential. By nurturing healthier and more resilient partnerships, this emerging therapeutic approach can contribute to a more stable & interconnected society. These changes are far from immaterial.
Periodically, I dedicate this think piece to sharing my experiences with Psychedelics. I am in no way promoting the use of Psychedelics. Anyone interested in trying Psychedelics should consult with their doctor or therapist first. This is especially crucial with MDMA, considering the Fentanyl crisis in our country. Obtaining MDMA safely can be risky, so it's essential to exercise responsible caution.
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I've been quite curious about MDMA since I first heard Sam Harris speak about his experiences with it -- similar to what you've said. What I wonder about, however, is the comedown. You've mentioned your thoughts and experiences, but I wonder if the severity of comedown depends on how well adjusted the person is psychologically. Might someone who is normally quite depressed experience a severe and debilitating comedown as the heights of the positive feelings give way to the deeper than average lows of their depression?
You mention the relevance of this to keeping marriages together. What about non-romantic relationships? I was recently on another Substack thread about the growing prevalence of estrangement between parents and their adult children. Could this drug help with that type of situation too?