I’ve had more bad trips than anyone I know and I think I actually have a severe PTSD now from all of them. I really hope I’ve learned my lesson and don’t try them again in the future… I always think it’s going to be different because it seems much more beneficial to others.
My most recent was with ayahuasca, but this and two other recent trips over the last couple of years lingered for months after, making my mental health quite unwell (one was with bufo, the other was an accidental THC exposure when taking CBD that put me on a full journey puking in the bushes for hours).
With this most recent experience with the aya 7 weeks ago, I’m still having waves of fear and visions that show me a life of suffering ahead of me and on-going loneliness. They’re a little less frequent than the weeks right after the ceremony—that were accompanied with on-going purging from both ends through those weeks—but they’re still haunting me. When they arrive I can feel my brain literally flood with intense energy moving around like electricity.
I definitely feel like I’m growing at times, and healing in big ways, but it’s definitely unnerving and scary.
Thanks for sharing this. This is not the type of 'bad trip' I am referring to...this sounds intense. I hope you are able to find a modality that works for you.
Commentary on William Braden's Mescaline Experience
"How is it possible for two persons of such obvious intellectual talent as William Braden and Aldous Huxley to have such radically different experiences as a result of ingestion of a similar quantity of mescaline?"
The Eleusinian Mysteries were in the exclusive hands of the Eumolpus and Kerykes families, and for close to two thousand years, these hierophants governed with autocratic authority the rites at Eleusis. The rites were open to all, women and men, young and old, slave and free. There were only two requirements: that initiates be able to understand the Greek language used for the ceremonies; and, more importantly, that they have no unatoned blood guilt on their hands.
I never gave much thought to the second of these requirements, I guess I just assumed that a murderer should, as punishment perhaps, not be permitted the redemption that a psychedelic experience might provide. More recently however, I'm wondering what the logic of this prohibition might have been. In modern times it may be probable that a murderer, especially a first degree, cold blooded one, having become used to the idea that he has murdered and not very repentant, might well have a psychedelic experience that turned into a very bad trip indeed. Suddenly understanding the deep significance of his act... Perhaps over the centuries the Eleusis priests had seen such people become a danger to themselves and especially to others during the long night of awakening.
I had a friend at one time who had some problems with LSD, telling me he couldn't take it again since every time he would see everyone around him as freaky cartoon characters. I sensed that somehow - and from other things I knew about him - that his actual world view was one of seeing no sacredness in existence, that everybody was in fact mere soul-less cartoon characters. As time went on and we had further conversations, I found out that he had actually murdered someone - and when he told me about it he seemed to take it very lightly, as if it were not really of any serious consequence.
Just to say, certain people may be so damaged that it would take some very special professional guidance to redeem them....
Thanks for this. Gives perspective on my guided psilocybin trip, with the repeated terror of a miles-high tidal wave engulfing me. Instead of dying, though, each time I emerged in the estatic music. God, or an appointee, was on drums, and his friendly eyes bore right into me. All in all, not a bad trip. Just challenging.
I took Psychedelics as a teenager and it somehow liberated me from worldliness; 2 weeks ago I read a study reporting that they followed a large group of participants who had dropped acid like me LSD sorry and found high percentage were like me unattached to material possessions. Curiously last week I needed to renter this type of state of mind to understand a difficulty in the family and was successful. Relying on a different combination of herbal and concoctions blend and a controlled environment. Whew I’m still in bed in between the realizations. Open my email to this. Subconsciously we are all one soul but when one part of the soul is misbehaving the whole unit suffers. Thanks
Reading this triggered some thoughts - not original, as I think that my introspection works well. Anyway, shaky parents - no love [ZERO] - not that I felt anyway. [To me, this is/was worse than physical abuse - which there was none (that I recall) - all verbal, or isolationistic.] Strangely, admitted by them. My siblings differ greatly (they are not anything like me - especially mentally). I know this damaged me, and I deal with it. I am a "successful" parent (others have confirmed).
It seems that many want to resolve something, or forgive someone. I do not; I want them to stay in that status of purposeful neglect. You're a smart guy A, what do you make of this?
Sorry, I misspoke. I was wondering if you had seen the cover art in my library at some point and it remained as a memory which became part of your psychedelic experienece. Ravens are used in many iconographic contexts.
I’ve had more bad trips than anyone I know and I think I actually have a severe PTSD now from all of them. I really hope I’ve learned my lesson and don’t try them again in the future… I always think it’s going to be different because it seems much more beneficial to others.
My most recent was with ayahuasca, but this and two other recent trips over the last couple of years lingered for months after, making my mental health quite unwell (one was with bufo, the other was an accidental THC exposure when taking CBD that put me on a full journey puking in the bushes for hours).
With this most recent experience with the aya 7 weeks ago, I’m still having waves of fear and visions that show me a life of suffering ahead of me and on-going loneliness. They’re a little less frequent than the weeks right after the ceremony—that were accompanied with on-going purging from both ends through those weeks—but they’re still haunting me. When they arrive I can feel my brain literally flood with intense energy moving around like electricity.
I definitely feel like I’m growing at times, and healing in big ways, but it’s definitely unnerving and scary.
Thanks for sharing this. This is not the type of 'bad trip' I am referring to...this sounds intense. I hope you are able to find a modality that works for you.
Can’t see your whole response for some reason. But yeah, these trips and their outcomes are definitely a spectrum!
https://www.psychedelic-library.org/bradencm.htm
Commentary on William Braden's Mescaline Experience
"How is it possible for two persons of such obvious intellectual talent as William Braden and Aldous Huxley to have such radically different experiences as a result of ingestion of a similar quantity of mescaline?"
I am familiar with this...wild they had such different experiences!
The Eleusinian Mysteries were in the exclusive hands of the Eumolpus and Kerykes families, and for close to two thousand years, these hierophants governed with autocratic authority the rites at Eleusis. The rites were open to all, women and men, young and old, slave and free. There were only two requirements: that initiates be able to understand the Greek language used for the ceremonies; and, more importantly, that they have no unatoned blood guilt on their hands.
I never gave much thought to the second of these requirements, I guess I just assumed that a murderer should, as punishment perhaps, not be permitted the redemption that a psychedelic experience might provide. More recently however, I'm wondering what the logic of this prohibition might have been. In modern times it may be probable that a murderer, especially a first degree, cold blooded one, having become used to the idea that he has murdered and not very repentant, might well have a psychedelic experience that turned into a very bad trip indeed. Suddenly understanding the deep significance of his act... Perhaps over the centuries the Eleusis priests had seen such people become a danger to themselves and especially to others during the long night of awakening.
I had a friend at one time who had some problems with LSD, telling me he couldn't take it again since every time he would see everyone around him as freaky cartoon characters. I sensed that somehow - and from other things I knew about him - that his actual world view was one of seeing no sacredness in existence, that everybody was in fact mere soul-less cartoon characters. As time went on and we had further conversations, I found out that he had actually murdered someone - and when he told me about it he seemed to take it very lightly, as if it were not really of any serious consequence.
Just to say, certain people may be so damaged that it would take some very special professional guidance to redeem them....
Thanks for this. Gives perspective on my guided psilocybin trip, with the repeated terror of a miles-high tidal wave engulfing me. Instead of dying, though, each time I emerged in the estatic music. God, or an appointee, was on drums, and his friendly eyes bore right into me. All in all, not a bad trip. Just challenging.
Amazing. Thanks for sharing this!
I took Psychedelics as a teenager and it somehow liberated me from worldliness; 2 weeks ago I read a study reporting that they followed a large group of participants who had dropped acid like me LSD sorry and found high percentage were like me unattached to material possessions. Curiously last week I needed to renter this type of state of mind to understand a difficulty in the family and was successful. Relying on a different combination of herbal and concoctions blend and a controlled environment. Whew I’m still in bed in between the realizations. Open my email to this. Subconsciously we are all one soul but when one part of the soul is misbehaving the whole unit suffers. Thanks
Thank you for sharing this! Well said...we are one soul indeed.
Reading this triggered some thoughts - not original, as I think that my introspection works well. Anyway, shaky parents - no love [ZERO] - not that I felt anyway. [To me, this is/was worse than physical abuse - which there was none (that I recall) - all verbal, or isolationistic.] Strangely, admitted by them. My siblings differ greatly (they are not anything like me - especially mentally). I know this damaged me, and I deal with it. I am a "successful" parent (others have confirmed).
It seems that many want to resolve something, or forgive someone. I do not; I want them to stay in that status of purposeful neglect. You're a smart guy A, what do you make of this?
The raven is a common in Mexican psychedelic drug iconography. See the cover art for Carlos Castaneda. (The Teachings of Don Juan, e.g.)
Sorry, I misspoke. I was wondering if you had seen the cover art in my library at some point and it remained as a memory which became part of your psychedelic experienece. Ravens are used in many iconographic contexts.
I have no accessible memory of that! Which doesn't mean it hasn't played a role.