5 Reasons You Might be Ready for the Toad
Welcome to the Psychedelic Blog. I write about the Impact of Psychedelics on Grieving, Relationships, Culture & Death. This week, I'm exploring the reasons that you might be ready to meet the toad. The active ingredient in the toad is 5-MeO-DMT. Known as the world’s most powerful Psychedelic, it goes by many names—Bufo, Sapito, Five MeO, and simply, the Toad. For the sake of consistency & simplicity in this piece, I will refer to it as the Toad.
"What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" – Mary Oliver
When Not to Approach the Toad
I recently had a conversation with a close friend who told me she was planning to commune with the toad. I told her I thought it was a very bad idea. Last year, she met the love of her life. Her business is thriving. She is deeply grateful for the many blessings in her life. In my opinion, this is not the time to introduce something that could throw a wrench into the very fabric of our reality.
With certain Psychedelics, like Psilocybin or MDMA, our world doesn’t need to be in turmoil to engage with them. They can be used recreationally, to connect with nature, as an aphrodisiac with a partner, or simply to experience a few hours of joy. We are allowed to have fun during our time here.
However, with the world’s most potent Psychedelic, we must be truly ready. A lot can go wrong. I’ve interviewed 5-MeO-DMT facilitator Victoria Wueschner on a few occasions, and she shared that this Psychedelic can catalyze PTSD. The experience is so intense and destabilizing that if we are merely curious explorers, we risk unraveling our lives.
And then, there’s what happens afterward. Our entire world is shaken up. Some people cross over and struggle to return to baseline reality. I know someone who, for weeks after his journey with the toad, would be on a date and see one half of his companion’s face while the other half appeared to him as an explosion of stars—an imagery that’s often reported by others as well (the Big Bang effect, which I can personally attest to). Advanced meditators and those operating at a heightened level of consciousness are at risk of transcending and never fully returning to baseline reality.
It is imperative that we proceed with caution when it comes to the toad. If we are unsure about being ready, then we are not ready.
#1: You Have Endured a Significant Trauma
This study demonstrates the impact of 5-MeO-DMT on PTSD. Anecdotally, nothing helped me heal from the loss of my siblings more than the toad. It is a powerful healing agent, liberating us and allowing us to live a life no longer shackled by overwhelming grief. The deep sense of love for life and the people in it after a journey with the toad is ineffable. I often compare it to the pure bliss we must have felt as infants when our parents played with us.
It’s important to note that the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event is not the time to meet the toad. We need ample time to return to a place that closely resembles our baseline. Preemptively communing with any Psychedelic, especially potent ones, could have catastrophic results.
Lastly—as I’ve written about extensively—our culture has broadened the definition of the word ‘trauma’ to include things like "that one time your dad missed your recital." This is part of the commercialization of mental health. By broadening terms like trauma & PTSD, gurupreneurs, authors, and online healers can grow large audiences, sell books, and position themselves as compassionate saviors, impervious to criticism. Companies like BetterHelp are profiting off this by claiming that everyone has trauma and needs therapy.
perfectly demonstrates what is transpiring:
So, be mindful not to conflate adversity with trauma. They are fundamentally different things. If you need to overcome adversity, the toad might not be what you need. There are plenty of other modalities to consider first: rigorous physical exercise, meditation, breathwork, listening to the Righteous Brothers (works for me every time), etc.
#2: You Are at a Crossroads
There are times in our lives when we’re uncertain whether to go right or turn left. Perhaps we find ourselves in a professional rut. The career we dedicated so much of our life to has begun to stagnate. Our ability to climb the corporate ladder feels increasingly out of reach. We feel the pressure of new technology and younger talent pushing us closer to irrelevance.
Or maybe our marriage is showing signs of strain. We keep returning to that one fight that seemed to change everything. We don’t want to lose our partner, but we also don’t want to continue as things are. Despite trying everything, we still don’t know what to do. The toad can be the ultimate clarifier. If done safely, with trusted facilitators, and at a time when our headspace is clear, it can offer insights that would otherwise be unreachable.
Perhaps we’re considering leaving city life behind to settle in that beachside town we've always romanticized. The spark of the city that once invigorated us now feels like a source of stress. Subway delays have become as unpleasant as a trip to the dentist. Late nights are losing their appeal, and the absence of nature is beginning to affect our well-being. But we’re still unsure. The toad can provide the clarity we need. If we approach the medicine with respect and take time to integrate the experience afterward, it might just reveal that it’s time to change where we receive our mail.
#3: You Cease to See the Magic in the World
I get goosebumps when I think about the scene in The Hurt Locker, where Jeremy Renner’s character is in a grocery store, completely unable to cope with the banality of everyday life. He is a soldier; war is what he knows, and combat is where he feels truly alive.
The power of that scene transcends veterans—many of us struggle with the mundanity of life. For those of us with an adventurous spirit, each day can feel like we are dying a little. We go to work, pay bills, and prepare meals, but it all feels like a slow fade from the vibrancy we once knew. I remember traveling on the Trans-Siberian Railroad, deep in the heart of Russia, feeling alive with excitement & fear, but fast-forward a few years, and I find myself frustrated because my Instacart delivery guy brought me the wrong blueberries.
Alan Watts poetically described death as the inevitable result of ceasing to see the magic in the world. There is, however, another option—one that resembles death but offers rebirth. The toad allows us to die and be reborn. This is why, at ceremonies, everyone shouts, "Happy Birthday!" when you return to baseline consciousness. You’ve been reborn, free to experience the magic of the human condition once again.
For those of us who have faced the darkest aspects of the human experience, an often unspoken side effect is forgetting how to experience joy. We become like outsiders in this world—we recognize the moments when we should be happy, but we just can't reach that feeling. The toad can help. By offering the most profound & beautiful experience of our lives, it brings us back to seeing the magic all around us.
#4: The Medicine is Calling You
With potent Psychedelics like the Toad, Ayahuasca, and Ibogaine, there is a mythology that the medicine "calls you." I have yet to experience this calling firsthand, nor have I extensively researched it, so I admit that I’m not an expert on the matter.
In the West, the prevailing belief is that everything must be measured to be accepted as true, and so this claim is often dismissed. However, it’s important to note that many of those who dismiss such phenomena lack the courage to transcend baseline consciousness themselves. They are like fans critiquing an athlete, never having competed in the game personally.
So, if the medicine is calling you, it might be worth answering. There is a power guiding this universe that we can’t begin to comprehend (skeptical? Hold your breath, see how long you last). If you're unsure, reach out to a spiritual guide. Many can help you decipher the message. Just be cautious, as there are also many who pretend to offer such guidance.
#5: The Core Responsibilities of Life Are Sorted
This might be the perfect time to visit the source of all creation. It stands in complete contrast to my friend, who is at the beginning stages of building her life. Once our lives are established—our children raised, our careers accomplished—what better time to catch a glimpse of what death may look like and, in the process, be reborn?
This phase of life can also serve as an ideal opportunity for a ‘life review,’ a common experience with potent Psychedelics like the toad. Due to the brevity of the experience—5-MeO-DMT typically lasts only about 15 minutes—I’ve found that only certain moments from our lives come to the surface. This contrasts with an Ibogaine or Ayahuasca journey, where it's common to experience a full "movie" rather than just the "trailer." I still revisit poignant moments from my life that the toad revealed, moments that might otherwise have been lost in the annals of time.
Communing with the toad at this stage in life comes with the added benefit of a clear mind. I remember attending a 5-MeO-DMT ceremony where an older gentleman, probably in his late sixties, had a profound experience with the toad. When he returned to baseline consciousness, he looked around and expressed deep gratitude for everyone who accompanied him on his journey. His energy was radiant, his heart full. He spoke of the love he felt for his wife, children, and grandchildren. Freed from the stresses of chasing the next promotion at work or making sure his youngest got to baseball practice, he was able to embrace the beautiful experience that only the toad can offer.
Closing Thoughts
You might be wondering, why risk it? Why commune with the toad? After all, it’s a harrowing experience—why not spend the day golfing or enjoying some other leisurely activity? The answer lies in the fact that constantly adorning our lives with comfort only resets the brain’s baseline to expect such luxury. We are essentially numbing ourselves. Facing our fears, safely, is foundational to living a fulfilling & meaningful life. With the toad, there is a reward for our bravery—a sensation that only those who muster the courage to transcend know: a feeling of cosmic love and complete unity with the universe.
We only get one life. It’s a reality that many seem to forget. When I’m out in the world, I sense that too many people are lost in the grind of future plans, real estate purchases, career & relationship choices, and other pursuits. Endless conversations revolve around what’s next. This leads to a wasted life, constantly preoccupied with what’s to come.
Perhaps many of us would benefit from an adventure—a transformative experience that catalyzes a heightened state of awareness & presence. It’s in these moments, like those offered by the toad, that we rediscover a deep sense of gratitude for the sheer privilege of being alive and partaking in the human experience.
Disclaimer
If you are considering communing with the world’s most powerful Psychedelic, I detailed my recent journey with the toad here. I’m not recommending the use of Psychedelics; anyone interested should consult with their doctor or therapist first.
If you found value in this piece, I'd appreciate it if you could hit the 'Like' button. The number of 'likes' a piece receives plays a crucial role in its visibility within the Substack algorithm. Your support means a lot—thank you!
The best way to support my work is by sharing it with others who might be interested. Feel free to forward this email and encourage them to subscribe using the button below.
I'm excited to announce my collaboration with Fun Guy! Use this link to shop for your favorite products. If you're looking for a euphoric, fun aphrodisiac but aren’t quite ready for MDMA (or want to avoid the gnarly MDMA blues), Kanna might be just what you need. My personal favorite is Flow Chocolate—use this link to purchase it directly!
I joined TAP Integration as an Investor & Advisor because I believe the true, lasting impact of Psychedelics lies in what happens after the experience. Integration is where the magic unfolds. Follow us on LinkedIn for exciting updates & insights!
Also, can I dm you a question I don’t want to post here?
Have you ever looked into the work of Dr. Britton Willoughby at the cheetah house?