Welcome to the Psychedelic Blog. I write about the Impact of Psychedelics on Grieving, Relationships, Culture & Death. This week, I’m exploring what it feels like to disappear — and the unexpected beauty of surrender.
Damn, Andrew. Well done, as usual. I really felt the raw honesty in the way you explored surrender, letting go, and the stories we hold onto. There’s so much here that resonates deeply—especially the idea that we don’t disappear when we find the answer, but when we stop demanding one.
Also—huge congratulations on launching getKANNA! I love seeing you bring this vision to life with such care and intention. Wishing you all the success in the world as you help people unwind and reconnect in a healthier way. Cheers, man.
Beautiful. What a journey to read this. I found myself in your writing here, several times actually. Perhaps I am way back in the beginning of this path to surrender, but realizing I have finally “found” what I always sought for… well like you said, I stopped searching.
The echoes from my extremely intense mushroom journey still reverberate from time to time. While I still cling to the old me, a voice whispers—“it’s time, there is no need to perform, to play the jester, the judge, the jury, the executioner. You can just be you now.”
Then I remember, during my trip my late mom “came back” to say goodbye, to tell me how proud she was, then realize it was always me, she was always with me, but the pain was so immense I couldn’t see through, until psychedelics erased the blur, released my defenses, then all there is was love, what just is.
Thanks Andrew for helping me in my reflection for the day.
What a beautiful reflection. I loved the part about your mom coming back to say goodbye gave me chills. I felt that.
It’s wild how the medicine shows us we’ve had the thing we were chasing all along. It's not fireworks or breakthroughs, but finally feeling safe enough to drop the roles.
I’m honored anything I wrote helped catalyze this for you. Blessings!
I’m a big fan of your writing, your insights, your ever exploring questions. Keep it up my friend. I think we’d have some great conversations if we ever get the chance to sit and hang… hit me up if you’re ever in Denver!
Thank you.Your writing is always thought provoking. Brought up so many yes, yes, yes, for me. I've thought of the need to surrender when taking psychedelics much like having an ecstatic, orgasmic sexual experience. Can't happen without complete surrender, letting go of control. Trust. Feeling safe. Also I learned from doing programs with Animas Valley Institute, Bill Plokins, about the loyal soldier, the part that we developed in childhood to keep us safe. I learned to thank it, honor it, and tell it the war is over. Just over a month ago I took San Padro as a tea for the first time. I was alone. I went into deep grief but it was not unpleasant. I did not resist all that came up. I realized I grieve because I love. Love became the overwhelming emotion which also brought a flood of tears.
You wove together so many powerful threads—surrender, safety, love, grief, and that beautiful concept of the “loyal soldier.”
That image of the war being over…that landed. There’s something so profound about honoring the protective parts of ourselves while gently letting them stand down.
Your San Pedro story moved me. Grief and love so often sit side by side like that, don’t they? Like two notes in the same chord. Thank you for sharing it with me!
Damn, Andrew. Well done, as usual. I really felt the raw honesty in the way you explored surrender, letting go, and the stories we hold onto. There’s so much here that resonates deeply—especially the idea that we don’t disappear when we find the answer, but when we stop demanding one.
Also—huge congratulations on launching getKANNA! I love seeing you bring this vision to life with such care and intention. Wishing you all the success in the world as you help people unwind and reconnect in a healthier way. Cheers, man.
Thanks, brother! On both accounts.
Really appreciate this.
Beautiful. What a journey to read this. I found myself in your writing here, several times actually. Perhaps I am way back in the beginning of this path to surrender, but realizing I have finally “found” what I always sought for… well like you said, I stopped searching.
The echoes from my extremely intense mushroom journey still reverberate from time to time. While I still cling to the old me, a voice whispers—“it’s time, there is no need to perform, to play the jester, the judge, the jury, the executioner. You can just be you now.”
Then I remember, during my trip my late mom “came back” to say goodbye, to tell me how proud she was, then realize it was always me, she was always with me, but the pain was so immense I couldn’t see through, until psychedelics erased the blur, released my defenses, then all there is was love, what just is.
Thanks Andrew for helping me in my reflection for the day.
Wow…thank you for sharing this!
What a beautiful reflection. I loved the part about your mom coming back to say goodbye gave me chills. I felt that.
It’s wild how the medicine shows us we’ve had the thing we were chasing all along. It's not fireworks or breakthroughs, but finally feeling safe enough to drop the roles.
I’m honored anything I wrote helped catalyze this for you. Blessings!
I’m a big fan of your writing, your insights, your ever exploring questions. Keep it up my friend. I think we’d have some great conversations if we ever get the chance to sit and hang… hit me up if you’re ever in Denver!
Thank you so much. I genuinely appreciate this!
I actually have some close friends in Denver, and it’s such a great spot for Psychonauts like us. I need to get out there soon!
Surrender.....Let go......seems so easy yet It takes courage and trust.
Love the article, as usual 😉
Thank you so much! Wise words.
Wow. One of your best. Thanks Andrew. 🙏
Thank you so much, Kate. This means so much.
Love this post and especially this line:
Psychedelics rewired my brain. And the result? I disappeared from the life I was supposed to live.
Appreciate you reading & sharing this, brother!
Thank you.Your writing is always thought provoking. Brought up so many yes, yes, yes, for me. I've thought of the need to surrender when taking psychedelics much like having an ecstatic, orgasmic sexual experience. Can't happen without complete surrender, letting go of control. Trust. Feeling safe. Also I learned from doing programs with Animas Valley Institute, Bill Plokins, about the loyal soldier, the part that we developed in childhood to keep us safe. I learned to thank it, honor it, and tell it the war is over. Just over a month ago I took San Padro as a tea for the first time. I was alone. I went into deep grief but it was not unpleasant. I did not resist all that came up. I realized I grieve because I love. Love became the overwhelming emotion which also brought a flood of tears.
Thank you so much for this, Alice!
You wove together so many powerful threads—surrender, safety, love, grief, and that beautiful concept of the “loyal soldier.”
That image of the war being over…that landed. There’s something so profound about honoring the protective parts of ourselves while gently letting them stand down.
Your San Pedro story moved me. Grief and love so often sit side by side like that, don’t they? Like two notes in the same chord. Thank you for sharing it with me!
Thank you for reading and sharing this, amigo.